


you look at me and babe i wanna catch on fire

by shymin



Series: kyman drabbles [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Gen, M/M, just a kyle-centric drabble really, spoilers for season 20 and onward, takes place post season 21
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16269881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shymin/pseuds/shymin
Summary: all I really know / you're where I wanna go / the part of me that's you will never die





	you look at me and babe i wanna catch on fire

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off a scene in Good Will Hunting, which I watched for the first time the other day. In the movie, there’s a scene in which Will is talking to his therapist, who asks him about soulmates. The therapist referred to a soulmate as ‘someone who challenges you’, which really surprised me and immediately made me think of kyman. 
> 
> So now there’s this, which I wrote on the bus on the way to and from work. It hasn’t been betaed so please let me know if I made any mistakes!

“Everything’s just gone to shit,” Kyle says, exasperated, from a chair in Mr. Mackey’s office. The worn down plastic creaks with motion as he gesticulates wildly, and the guidance counsellor gives him a weary look. Kyle continues, oblivious.

“It’s - it’s like everyone’s totally lost their senses. We’re living in two-thousand-eighteen, for God’s sake. Isn’t it about time people became a little more sensitive? Shouldn’t we, as a society, have evolved a bit by now? It felt like we were, before. But now...” He shakes his head. “It’s just been so long since things were good. I thought things couldn’t get any worse after the president was elected, but that was two years ago, and things haven’t gotten better. Shouldn’t things have improved by now? Shouldn’t we have learned to be more accepting? But it feels like we’ve gone backwards; like we’re still going backwards. The world is getting progressively worse! Racism is becoming a trend now, republicans are on the rise again, even Taylor Swift is weighing in on politics - “

“Kyle, pardon me for interrupting, but, uh,” Mr. Mackey twists his tie nervously. “This wouldn’t happen to be one of your ‘speeches’, would it?”

Kyle stares at him. “No.”

Mr. Mackey nods, a little unsurely. “Oh, mmkay. Please, continue.”

Kyle holds his glare for a moment longer. Then he sighs. “I just don’t understand why everything keeps getting worse. I thought we were past this. I thought the world was... maturing, I guess. Improving. But every time I think things might be getting better, nobody wants to listen. Nobody cares about what’s right anymore, they just all want to do their own thing. People have totally lost their grip on reality.” He slumps back in his chair, defeated. “No matter how much I try, nothing gets better. And I just feel like... what’s the point anymore?”

“Hm,” Mr. Mackey regards him doubtfully. “Have you tried talking to your parents about how you feel?”

Kyle shakes his head, eyes downcast. “My mom would just get mad at me, and my dad... I can’t talk to him, not after...” He trails off bitterly. “I just can’t.”

“Mmkay, well... What about your friends? Don’t you think Stan would like to hear about this?”

Kyle exhales a dry laugh, eyes going distant with recollection. “No, Stan doesn’t... He doesn’t listen to me anymore. No.”

“And none of your other friends would be willing to listen? You got, uh, Kenny... and Eric Cartman?” 

Kyle gives him another look, and Mr. Mackey coughs awkwardly. “Right. So you feel like you have nobody you can talk to?”

Kyle raises an eyebrow. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Right, right,” Mackey mumbles, nodding. “Well, Kyle, I don’t really know what to tell you... It’s not so easy to just go about fixing the world. The world’s a big place, y’know, lots of people... I don’t think there’s much that we can do...” He tapers off when he catches sight of Kyle’s expression. 

Mr. Mackey sits up a little straighter. “So, uh, in the meantime, I think the best thing we can do is not to dwell on the bad things in life and to distract ourselves with the good things, mmkay?”

“What good things?” Kyle looks at him with disbelief.

“Well, uh, you’ve got lots of friends, don’t you? That’s good. And you’re a good student, Kyle. You’ve got a good life at home, too, I suppose... Good family. Maybe a girlfriend?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” Kyle deadpans.

“Oh. Well. Maybe a boyfriend, then?”

Kyle’s jaw tightens. “No.”

“Right, right. My apologies. But you feel lonely, is that right? So maybe that’s something to look out for. Somebody you could confide in; mmkay, that might help.”

Kyle makes a face. “I... Sure.”

“So is there anybody you feel that way about?”

Kyle frowns in confusion. “What? Feel what way?”

Mr. Mackey sits back in his seat and crosses his arms on the desk in front of him like he’s about to share some particularly insightful wisdom. “Do you believe in soulmates, Kyle?”

“Do I - what?”

Mr. Mackey rephrases patiently. “Do you believe in soulmates?”

Kyle squints. “Mr. Mackey, are you okay?”

The counsellor nods solemnly. “Of course, Kyle. Let’s focus on you. Is there anyone in your life you feel especially close to, someone you might consider a soulmate?”

Kyle thinks briefly of Stan, and then of Heidi. Something like resentment twists within him, and he presses his lips together. “I guess that depends on how you’d define soulmates,” he says dubiously. 

Mr. Mackey looks thoughtful. “Well, I suppose it’d be someone who’s always there for you, even when you least expect them to be. Somebody who challenges you.”

Kyle blinks.

**Author's Note:**

> The title + summary are both from the song I’ll Always Remember Us This Way from A Star is Born. Which is in no way related to kyman, but this song has been stuck in my head all day, so voila.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at moonandstarskyle.tumblr.com :)


End file.
